Day 20.

I debated about whether or not to share this one. Ultimately, I decided that if there was any debate, it needed to be shared.


Still Angry.

Fuck you.
for leaving me
for leaving us
behind when you were clouded and burdened with selfishness and blinded by your sadness.

Fuck you.
for making every single moment of my life that much more miserable
for making me be in a perpetual state of self doubt, questioning every single action I take for fear that it will reveal me to be just like you.

Fuck you.
for not seeing beyond yourself
for not thinking of anyone but yourself
for forcing everyone you ever knew to rethink if they ever knew you.

Fuck you.
for not asking for help
for not thinking that we could be that help.
for thinking that we would judge you or think less of you for needing help
for not knowing that you needed help

Fuck you.
for thinking none of us loved you enough to want to help you through whatever it was you were going through.

Fuck you.
for making us scrutinize every conversation we ever had for signs that we didn't pick up on
for making us feel guilty  for not being there for you
for making us speculate about what really happened.

Fuck you.
for robbing us of you.