Day 88.

He wasn't really sure what to expect when he sat. Anger? Tears? Joy? A hug? He was petrified. He had often thought about what he would say; how he would explain himself. He knew nothing he ever said would fully justify his actions. And there were no words that could describe how much pain and guilt and regret he'd been feeling all these years. He knew his pain was nothing compared to what she must've been going through. 

He used to believe she was better off without him and that she would be happier. Until he saw her at the restaurant, their restaurant, that day. At that moment, he understood that he was wrong. He had held onto that false hope for so long. He couldn't believe the lies he told himself. He had to do something, had to make up for lost time, had to apologize. She probably wouldn't accept it, but he had to try. He had to make sure she knew he'd always loved her and thought of her every day. 

When he sat, he could see she was surprised. Of course she would be. He said hello. She didn't respond. He asked how she was. She didn't respond. He told her she looked well and had grown into a beautiful woman. She didn't respond. He said he was happy to say she still loved chocolate cake. She didn't respond.  He was silent for a few moments. She didn't respond. He apologized for bothering her, said he loved her and good bye. She didn't respond. He stood and started to walk away. As he passed her chair, he felt a hand on his arm. 

"Don't go."